Building Resilience!

“In order to succeed, people need a sense of self-efficacy, to struggle together with resilience to meet the inevitable obstacles and inequities of life.” – Albert Bandura

Resilience is the most crucial attribute that we need in life!

As we all collectively face increasing demands of our time, work pressures, duties, responsibilities, and let us not forget the judgement we can carry upon ourselves as we constantly try to keep up with life!  Without resilience our attempt to keep up and keep going can quickly lead to depletion, both emotional and mental, and we can find ourselves spending many days feeling deflated, exhausted, and completely unfulfilled with day-to-day life!

Living a life in this daily survival mode, along with the baggage of guilt, procrastination, and tormenting mind chatter.  We can quickly start to feel more and more disconnect from life, from who we really are, and before we know it, our resilience is totally depleted and we can feel like there is no way out!

“Strength does not come from winning.  Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.  – Mahatma Gandhi  

I believe struggles, hardships and challenges allow us to develop a new resilience that we didn’t imagine possible!  A reserve of courage and strength that eventually allows us to reconnect to what is really important to us.  A reserve of courage and strength that shines a light through the doors back to love, compassion, clarity, understanding, not only for our own human life, but for all others.

Resilience remembers the deep scars, and it understands the many hearts that have been broken, however all resilience allows clarity to see and feel the gift of every new day, and therefore a new chance to keep strengthening the values that deeply matter, and sharing our unique gifts to others with time, patience and love.

So yes we know very well that today’s this world is fast and hectic, and we understand there will be many times we are tested, and also faced with incredible challenges.  It is in those times we implement and take personal steps to maintain and secure the health of our life and resilience!

In order to keep strengthening and building my own resilience.  Each night I reflect on the following questions to help me check-in with my values, and how aligned and connected I feel with everything in life!

Questions are:

  • Did I feel patient, kind, loving and inspired today?
  • Did I wake up excited about the day ahead, or drained at the very thought of facing everything in the day?
  • Did I feel connected to life, to my values, and to others?
  • Did I engage with mental/unhelpful mind-chatter?  If so – how did I defuse from this?
  • Did I offer self-compassion and encouragement to myself throughout the day,  so I could provide healthy contribution, and loving actions to my life?
  • Did I feel safe, secure and grounded?
  • Did I feel strong and resilient enough to offer help to others?

I know when we are challenged and facing an intense pressure with work, children, home, family, just about anything.  Taking the time each day to check-in with ourselves, and review the key problems/issues, this is vital to our health and mental sanity.  We don’t always have the tools and resource to solve everything, so it’s so important to take control of all the things we can, and seek help and support with the things we can’t!

I see keeping my resilience as an on-going, and long term daily goal, so when life brings the next challenge, I feel more able to secure strength, a healthy bounce back, and capacity to maintain the courageous reserves I have re-built to cope with life!

With all the fundamental tools in place, a healthy resilience improves our optimism, our health, our vitality, and without a doubt, it keeps our LOVE strong.  With resilience on side, we maintain a positive attitude, and a natural willingness each day to say ‘I CAN’ and ‘I WILL’!

Below are a healthy check-in and reminder of the important steps that I take to keep resilience strong:

Health – learning to say yes to self-care. Yes to internal love, compassion, kindness, and yes to making sure that time is invested for your own health.  Don’t feel selfish and guilty if you’re feeling low, exhausted, and in need of some loving care.  Again – how can you help anyone else if you’re feeling depleted?

Pleasure – this one is vital for building up resilience.  Anything for you that allows time and worries to stop, and welcomes feelings of love, joy, contentment, happiness and yes – fun!  Then make sure you DO IT!

Passion – yes please make time for your passion, your hobbies.  When pressures, challenges, and problems arise, knowing there is a sanctuary for escape and to let go, this helps us to cope with the hard times, the hard tasks, and helps to keep us mentally, emotionally and physically strong.

Peace – quiet time to offer gratitude to something else.  This could be your religion, God, the Universe, just knowing we are all hearts, and we all just need connection and love, not to compare, compete, or feel bullied by anything or anyone if it interferes with our security and deepest values.  Keeping peace inside radiates our bodies with warmth, and provides a deep place of safe surrender.

Purpose – as a Mum I feel it is a purpose to set a good example to my Son.  To do the best I can each day so he grows up to be kind, considerate and emotionally strong.  I believe a a purpose is anything that makes you feel inspired, and gives you a sense of achievement and connection to something greater than ourselves.

Productivity – yes we know we face relentless chores, work, paperwork etc., but when we tackle any task with a positive attitude, we actually complete it quicker, and feel much better about doing so!  It’s actually OK that we don’t complete every single task we have to-do in one day, this is quite impossible for most!  However knowing deep down we are doing the best we can helps us to build and improve our confidence and self-esteem, helping is to also value our contribution whatever it may be!




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