The Foundations of Resilience

“In order to succeed, people need a sense of self-efficacy, to struggle together with resilience to meet the inevitable obstacles and inequities of life.” – Albert Bandura


This attribute seems to be a striving goal for many of us today.  As we collectively face increasing demands of our time, work pressures, duties, responsibilities, and not forgetting the judgement with inflict to ourselves when trying to keep up with life.  In the attempt to keep up and keep going, is there any wonder that our resilience can  become depleted, and for some of us, can leave behind a residue of deflation, exhaustion, and emptiness.

Living day-to-day in catch up, tick it off, and survival mode, and allowing the awful weight of guilt, procrastination, and a tormenting mind juggle, this only disconnects us from life, from who we really are, and does not give allowance to the time we need to just be, to just be human, and to realise it really is ok to be imperfect!

“Strength does not come from winning.  Your struggles develop your strengths.  When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.  – Mahatma Gandhi  

Struggles, hardships and challenges allow us to find a new resilience deep within.  A resilience that provides strength, and opens the door to more love, compassion, clarity and understanding. Resilience knows the deep scars, and it understands the hearts that were broken, but resilience knows every day is a brand new day to reinvent who we are.  A new day and better chance to understand what we need, what others need, what makes us unique, and that our uniqueness is an actual gift of life.

So yes in this world that is fast and hectic, and at times incredibly challenging, what personal steps can we take to secure the health of our resilience?

In consideration to this – below are some questions for reflection:

  • Do you feel patient, kind, loving and inspired?
  • Do you wake up excited about the day ahead, or drained at the very thought of facing the day?
  • Do you feel connected to life, to you, to others?
  • Do you actually think and feel healthy?
  • Do you feel safe, secure and grounded?
  • Do you feel strong so you can help others?

I know when we feel sick, deflated, depressed, and are facing an intense period in life, it can feel incredibly hard to take the steps to review what isn’t working for our health, and mental sanity.  However if we break down our goals, and take control of what we can, whilst offering patience, support and compassion, we have a good chance of keeping our resilience strong.

I actually see resilience as an ongoing project.  A project that helps to build a positive and secure inner-life so we can revitalize our strength, our bounce back, and hold our strong reserves in order to cope with life.  With the fundamental tools in place, a healthy resilience can improve our optimism, our health,  our vitality, and keep our LOVE strong.  With resilience on side, we hold the power to maintain a positive attitude, and a natural flow of willingness that I CAN and I WILL, for our own life, and for others.

Acting as a daily guidance and check-in, I found the below a helpful reminder of the important steps I need to put in place in order to keep resilience reserves strong:

Health – yes to self-care. Yes to internal love, compassion, kindness, and yes to making sure that time is invested for your own health.  Don’t feel selfish and guilty if you’re feeling low, exhausted and in need of some loving care.  Again – how can you help anyone else if you’re feeling depleted!

Pleasure – this one provides so much for our resilience.  Anything that allows time and worries to stop, and welcomes feelings of joy, contentment, happiness and yes – fun!

Passion – yes please make time for your passion, your hobbies.  When pressures, challenges and problems arise, knowing there is a sanctuary for escape helps us cope with those hard times, those hard tasks, and can help keep us mentally, emotionally and physically strong.

Peace – quiet time to give gratitude to something greater.  Just knowing in your heart there is a universal guidance and love, and that we don’t need to compare, conform or compete with anything or anyone if it interferes with our deepest values.  Keeping our peace inside radiates our bodies with warmth, security, restoration, and a place of deep and safe surrender.

Purpose – as a Mum, I feel it is a purpose to set a good example to my Son.  To do the best I can each day so he grows up to be a kind, considerate and emotionally strong.  In general a purpose is anything that makes you feel a sense of achievement, connection, and to something greater than ourselves.

Productivity – I know we face relentless chores, work, paperwork etc., but when we embrace our tasks, and face them with a positive attitude, we actually feel much better about them.  We just need to remember that it is OK that we can’t do it all, and that living our days contributing actually improves our confidence, self-esteem, and makes us feel highly-valued, which is always a bonus!




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